It Could Have Been Me
by Raych
Summary: A brief conversation between Brooke and Lindsey a few days before Lindsey's wedding.


**Just a quick one shot between Brooke and Lindsey a few days before Lucas and Lindsey's wedding. Has probably already been done but I just happened to see a clip that put this in my head. Fingers crossed for updates to Give Me Everything and Broken in next couple of days.  
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She'd been under the impression Lindsey had liked the designs for the dress and yet here they were at the final fitting and Lindsey looked like she hated not just the dress but Brooke.

"I just don't understand how you could make me a dress like this Brooke, a dress so amazingly beautiful and yet you're still on 'Team Peyton.'" Brooke was left speechless at the sudden turn in the conversation. One minute Lindsey had been telling her about the nightmare that was the days before her wedding and now she was berating her.

"I didn't realise there were teams Lindsey. Lucas is marrying you isn't he." It was more of a statement than a question. Lindsey seemed to deflate in front of her eyes.

"I'm not stupid Brooke I know that everyone in this town has spent the last five years thinking this day would be hers. That despite how much anyone may actually like me they all seem to be rooting for them to work it out before it's _too late._" Brooke hated the blondes once more for watching what Lindsey was going through. Even two days before her wedding she was crippled by insecurity because Lucas and Peyton were 'true love always.' She recognised that almost defeated look Lindsey had in her eyes because she'd seen it before in her own reflection back in senior year. She wondered if Lindsey had much more fight in her left because by this point, that look Brooke hadn't. "But I thought you of all people would at least be on my side." The unspoken words Lindsey clearly refused to say were that Brooke should be on her side because she had been on the receiving end of what Lindsey herself was now going through. Brooke should be rooting for Lindsey because she herself had suffered the same plight.

"I want Lucas to be happy Lindsey and if that's with you then I'm happy for you both. But Peyton is my best friend and I want her to be happy more than anything." Lindsey scoffed.

"So I hear – more than your own happiness. I was his editor after all. You know what never made sense to me when I edited the book. The way you two went from being so happy and so in love to you losing all faith in him at Nathan and Haley's wedding. It was almost literally overnight that happened. As an editor it was hard to integrate that into the story because obviously the arc of the story had to be that Lucas and Peyton were just destined somehow because even though that kind of thing doesn't really happen in real life it's the type of love we all want to see in movies or read about in books. But it stayed with me. So what did actually happen Brooke because even now I'm willing to bet Lucas couldn't answer that question." Brooke sighed deeply and sat down on the plush purple seat. Lindsey followed suit and settled herself beside her looking at her intently as though waiting for something that would make everything clear.

"Peyton went to Savannah to see Jake. Apparently that's who she wished for. She even proposed." As soon as that particular nugget of information was out Brooke wished she could take it back. She was pretty sure that Lucas had no idea Peyton had even been to Savannah much less proposed. It didn't look particularly good given that two years later she'd refused Luke's proposal because she wasn't ready. "Jake told her the next day that he couldn't marry her. She'd said she loved Lucas in her sleep and he couldn't marry her until she came back here and tried to figure out her feelings. So she came back and told me she was in love with him. She said she told me so we didn't have a repeat of junior year but..." Brooke trailed off because she didn't want to admit her thoughts on the real reason Peyton told her.

"That sounds an awful lot like a lame justification for something she knew would devastate you." Brooke looked up at Lindsey and without either uttering a word Brooke knew Lindsey guessed at what Brooke suspected was the real reason Peyton had told her. "Some best friend Brooke. She screws you over not once but twice and you're still so loyal to her. She doesn't deserve you."

"Sometimes we love people whether they deserve it or not."

"Why didn't you ever tell him?" Brooke had agonised over whether to tell Lucas or not. But that fact that he hadn't been able to stay away from Peyton when she'd asked him to for even a day made that fear bubble in the pit of her stomach and she wondered whether he was just fooling himself. Even worse there was the thought that he would do as she asked if she told him why she was asking and he would begin to resent her. The fact was it was a long time ago and she didn't want to think about it anymore.

"I had my reasons, they're entirely irrelevant now anyway because he's marrying you." Again Brooke watched as Lindsey frowned.

"I won't think any less of you if you don't give the answer that I'd like to hear to this question Brooke – in an ideal world who would you want to see him marry in two days time?" Brooke was tempted to tell the other woman that it was an unfair question and she wouldn't answer. But deep down she held a great deal of affection for the other woman and even a certain amount of pity.

"In an ideal world I'd like to see Lucas and Peyton make things work. It's not that I don't think you're a wonderful woman Lindsey, or even that you don't make him happy because I know you do. I even know you love him and he loves you. But I would prefer to see him with Peyton if I'm completely honest." Lindsey's mouth was a firm line and she nodded as a response before making to head back into the fitting room. "Lindsey," She said and the other woman turned. "I have to believe in my heart that Peyton and Lucas are meant to be together. That one day they will find their way back to one another and that will be it for the rest of their lives." Lindsey nodded again.

"Because she's your best friend." Brooke shook her head sadly as a single tear slipped down her cheek.

"Because if you're his forever and his love for you is enough then everything that happened would have been a mistake. Everything I gave up was for nothing. And I will spend forever with the knowledge that it could have been me." The fact Brooke had pretty much admitted she still loved the man who was Lindsey's fiancé was not in any way a threat to the other woman. Where Lindsey feared Peyton's love for Lucas she did not fear Brooke's. Brooke would not tell Lucas of her feelings or try to win his affections away from Lindsey herself like Peyton had. Brooke knew too well the heartache of that and would keep it to herself. Brooke was not a threat, not like Peyton. And yet...Lindsey could not help but question whether she had been wrong. Whether she had edited Ravens wrong, chosen the wrong girl for the arc of the love story because Lucas had loved Brooke first, he'd admired and wanted Peyton before he had Brooke but he had loved the brunette before the blonde. Maybe she'd chosen the wrong story because sometimes the truth was that love was unrequited. That sometimes in the name of love we make our greatest sacrifices.


End file.
